There are demands anywhere you live, work or play. As a work at home mother, the demands can be overwhelming. You all know about the many hats you must wear and the responsibilities that pile up around you. Demands come at you from all angles, sometimes draining your strength and time. Do you have a child in the home that demands more of your attention than you can give? This above all other pressures can be the most distracting and exasperating. Whether they are behaving badly or not, their main goal is to get your attention – even negative attention. Some children are only happy if they are monopolizing their parent's time and attention. It's a habit that can take control of the entire household. Whatever the reason, if the child consistently gets what they want by their behavior, their desire to dominate will only grow, not diminish. It's easy to fall into the tug of war trap, and soon you realize you have spent most of your day giving in to your child's demands for attention. Many mothers have gone back to working outside the home for that very reason. A child who demands an unreasonable amount of attention can put stress and strain on all the relationships in the home. This in turn can make working from home more stressful than necessary. It doesn't matter what your parenting style is – there are ways to diffuse the all consuming battle for time and attention. However, avoiding extremes of behavior for both parties will make the solutions easier to follow. Getting to the bottom of the actual issues that cause the need for attention is a good place to start. Issues such as low self esteem, insecurity, overindulgence or anger are some of the catalysts for demanding behaviors. The child may go through several different phases and display a variety of behaviors that have the same root cause. As always, communication is the key to building a foundation for resolve. When there is an open door for discussion, touch on these issues: • When children get what they want with bad behavior, they will continue that behavior. It is up to the parent to set the boundaries for demands for attention. Agreeing upon reasonable expectations of your time and need for uninterrupted work time will set the much needed limits for your child. They must understand that you are not available at certain times for certain things. • Inappropriate demands must be identified and dealt with consistently – which most likely means ignoring them so as not to encourage them. Determine a plan and stick with it. Collaborate with your spouse and other siblings so you are all on the same page. • Watch for chances to reward positive behavior. When your child delays or chooses not to demand your attention unnecessarily, be appreciative and give positive feedback about their choice. • Be careful not to react emotionally to your child's demands. An emotional battle never solves the problem and only serves to create more tension in the home. Consistent, cool headed reactions are more likely to glean results than angry outbursts. The child cannot gain victory of a power struggle if there is no one to struggle with! • Make sure you are a good example for your child. Modeling how to manage time and being respectful of other's needs will help them adopt behavior that is acceptable. Give them the attention they need, not all the attention they want. Then follow that rule for your own behaviors. • Develop a routine of quality time with your child. Choose a time that is convenient and be consistent with devoting that time slot to him or her. Make sure you are involved in their activities and keep track of what is going on in their life. This may be all they wanted in the first place. Remember that your child will learn to identify their relationships by how much attention they get, unless they are taught to relate unselfishly. Breaking the cycle of attention tactics will benefit your child's overall well being. Finding out what motivates your child to demand so much attention can be difficult, so enlist whatever help you need to find the reason for this need that is out of proportion. Commit to making the necessary changes to stop the progression that could lead to a negative way of life for your child. Your work at home environment will be better for it. Jan Cline is a work at home grandmother and entrepreneur from Spokane, Washington. She is a singer, songwriter, author and freelance writer. Her website is www.jancline.net.
Blog: www.precioustimesgiftsbyjan.blogspot.com | 
