Creating a Positive Home Atmosphere

Be responsible for your mood and the general emotional atmosphere of the home

This is a hard idea for many of us to accept. "What! I have to earn the living, pay the bills, run the house, organize everyone's lives, meet everyone's needs, do the laundry, cook the meals and still be Susie or Sidney Sunshine all day? Don't I ever get to be *real*?" Well, I agree, it's a lot to ask. But, the fact is, the parents in the home are indeed the adults, and they have to be the role models and set the tone for the home. I know it often seems like our children don't listen to a thing we say, but, the reality is that they take their lead from us. If the emotional atmosphere in the home is downcast, they will grab that piece of negativity and drag it to new lows. If we strive to keep the emotional atmosphere of the home upbeat and even fun, they will grab onto that as well.

Often, our kids who have been adopted post infancy don't know what to expect from moment to moment. They have a history of rejection and abuse, even if it was too early in their lives for them to recall the events, it's all still embedded in their neural circuits, and their brains are on the alert for even the slightest signal that freeze, fight or flight needs to kick in. If we greet them, in each and every interaction, in a way that is positive and emotionally stable, they can learn to quickly move out of the three F's (freeze, flight, or fight) and into a less emotionally labile mood and to an emotional state that allows for positive communication and even some fun.

Many older child adoptees have FASD, and ADHD, ODD, and OCD, and the rest of the alphabet, so their ability to self-regulate is practically zero - that means they need us to show them, with words and actions, what they should be feeling and how they should be behaving. We have to create the mood for them. And really folks, isn't it in your best interest to set them up to be cheerful, or at least, not hostile? And, what if that's just too hard to do? Maybe your life has an overload of stress right now. Perhaps you are experiencing job loss, or severe financial stress, or you have an aging parent with deteriorating health, or your teen daughter just got pregnant (again)...there is so much in life that can challenge and push you, the parent, into negativity or depression. Well, then it's time to get help for yourself.

You need to see a counsellor or someone who can allow you to safely vent and to process your feelings, as well as give you support. Then, you put on your best and bravest face, and go home and make that home a place where everyone knows that family comes first and love can flourish. Remember - Be faithful (to your children and your family). Be strong (in your heart). http://www.theadoptioncounselor.com

Article Source: [http://EzineArticles.com/?Creating-a-Positive-Mood&id=3962100] Creating a Positive Mood